I knew four things about her.
The way she took her coffee.
That she worked across the street at a drug store. Manager, I think. But maybe not. In my mind she was.
She drove a black Jeep.
And I had the biggest crush ever on her.
Blue eyes. Long Hair. Quiet smile.
So, maybe I knew seven things.
She came through my drive-thru at least five mornings a week. Maybe more, but I wasn’t there all seven days. It had been this way for nearly two years.
I did my best to either be the one to hand over the tray with the extra-large and large coffees, one cream each, or to be in the vicinity of the window just so I could see her. If I was working the window, I always refrained from giving her a tray until she asked, just to have her there for a few seconds longer.
Also, to hear her voice again.
Her voice caused goosebumps on my flesh. Every time it did, I wondered if her tongue would too. Just the thought of her tongue on my skin sent shivers throughout my body.
Jeep girl, that’s what I called her, appeared to be about my age, but it was hard to tell. Between the early morning light and the fact that I was certain she worked nearly all of the time and often looked tired, it was hard to tell. Some days when she came through, I was sure she was around thirty like me. Other times she looked younger. Some days I just couldn’t tell.
In reality, it didn’t matter anyways. I didn’t even know if she was single. Or if she liked girls. I guess the few things I knew about her didn’t amount to much actual knowledge.
That had never once stopped my overactive imagination.
I envisioned more times than I could count, that on my break I would walk over with a coffee for her. Just the way she liked it. She would be in her office because I imagined she had one. I didn’t know for sure.
Inside that office, she would be sitting in a swivel chair, typing away. Doing whatever it is that she would be doing. Boss things. Things that showed she was in charge.
She was always doing boss things in this fantasy.
I’d knock gently on the doorframe, because I also imagined the door would be opened as if she were waiting for the day I finally showed up. How exactly I would get in the back room past employees, I had no idea, but in this daydream it didn’t matter.
I’d knock and she’d swivel around, see me. See the coffee in my hands and say, “Finally.” Confirming she had been fantasizing about this moment herself. She would stand up, and I’d know for certain she was taller than I was by a bit, something I could only guess at when I saw her in the driver’s seat. My eyes would glance at the name tag I had sort of seen a hundred times. It would solidify what I had pieced together with each glance.
‘Lynn’. A simple name. Easy to say. Easy to remember.
Almost too simple for the girl of my dreams. Or rather, the girl of my daydreams.
I’d wonder if she already knew what mine said. ‘Ollie’, short for Olletta, a name I hated. The total opposite of simple.
My parents insisted on naming me after my great grandmother, no regard to the fact I would have to grow up with such a name. I donned Ollie by first grade and clung to it for dear life.
My eyes would close knowing there was only two steps between her and me. One step inside and the door would shut and click locked. No words would be exchanged as her blue eyes bore into mine. Her hand would take the coffee from me and where it would disappear to, I hadn’t figured out.
Another detail that didn’t need clarification. In this fantasy world, such things didn’t matter.
With one swift movement, she would show me how strong she was. I would go from standing to being perched on her desk. Finding that I fit perfectly on the surface, almost as if it had been made just for me. She would sit back down and intently stare at me.
I would be extremely glad I hadn’t worn any panties that day. Not admitting to myself that had been intentional. My own just-in-case today was the day courage filled me and let me be brave enough to try this. I wouldn’t think about the fact I had gone panty-less for the five weeks prior to this day. Another detail that didn’t matter.
Her hands would glide up the outside of my legs, her having no idea that they held artwork. My work pants just loose enough. I would debate with myself if I should help her and take them off, deciding instead to let her be in control. It wouldn’t take her any time to have them unbelted and off, thrown on who knows what somewhere behind her.
It would be then that she would first see the tattoos that were hidden beneath the fabric. Butterflies on my right calf. Lilies on my left thigh. I imagined her eyes would light up with their revelation. Her tongue would be compelled to explore each line. In that moment, I would remember the searing pain the tattoo needle produced and replace that memory, with this one. Her there, working her way up.
One. Two. Three butterflies fully mapped out. One. Two. Three lilies next. Her finger tracing the simple words that accompanied the Lilies, ‘the rest is unwritten ;’ homage to harder days.
Me avoiding her eyes when she saw the semi-colon.
Her not asking.
My body would heat up with every lick and strike.
As her tongue finished with the last leaf, I knew her next target. One. Two legs draped over her shoulders. The scent of my arousal hitting me. Knowing it was hitting her too. She would lock her eyes on me, then pull herself in.
Wide slow licks as she began her exploration. Each one sending jolts of electricity throughout my body.
My nipples throbbing. Hard enough to cut glass. My free hand playing with them, moving from one breast to the other. My heels digging into her back, trying to pull her in even closer.
My eyes wouldn’t leave her head as she slowly picked up the pace of her tongue. Her mouth sucking on all the right spots. There wasn’t room to fully arch my back the way I needed to. The way I needed to so I could thrust myself closer to her.
A low moan would escape.
She would break contact, look at me, then glance behind me. “Shhhh.”
The power in that small command would send more ripples of desire and pleasure on a collision course throughout my body. My hand would come off my nipples and I’d bite down on it. Trying to stifle the noises that threatened to escape as the intensity of her movements increased. Hips gyrating to match them, rubbing myself on her face. Her hands on my ass as everything began to go grey. Wave after wave hitting me. The need to cry out and knowing I couldn’t, overpowering me.
Small items would fall off her desk to the floor. She would finally slow, allowing me to come down. Her hands still holding me in place, up off her desk. Finally, gently placing me back down and I would open my eyes.
The grin on her face glistening with the remnants of my release. I couldn’t see myself, but imagined I had that post orgasm glow that made my face slack, eyes go glassy. Her eyes would glance behind me to the computer monitor. I’d turn my head and see various camera views on the screen, not unlike the system at work.
I imagined I would silently collect my pants and shoes. Put myself back together. Go back to work. The next morning, she would come through my drive-thru and we’d smile a secret knowing smile.
So far, none of that had happened. Well almost none. I did go to work most days with no panties on, just in case.
I did my best to see her every time her black Jeep was in the drive-thru cameras. Did it ever cross her mind that I was purposely placing myself in her sightline? Hell, did she even notice me past being the bringer of the coffee?
Did any of it matter?
Life went on. I moved through my days waiting for the next glimpse of her I could get. Imagining more visits to her store. Her office. Which in my head, looked a lot like the one I was sitting in, staring at the computer, doing the schedule.
“Oll. Hello Ollie! Girl!”
“Huh?” I looked up from the old-as-fuck monitor to see Janelle, one of my cashiers.
“Your girl is in the drive-thru.”
I looked at her like she had ten heads. “What are you talking about?”
“Oll. The girl in the Jeep is about one minute from getting coffee handed to her by someone else.” Janelle, with her electric blue hair was still staring at me, waiting for me to react.
This time, my head snapped around. It was 5 p.m. I wasn’t supposed to still be here and now she was here. I wasn’t sure if I should move towards the second drive-thru window or ask Janelle how she knew about my Jeep girl.
“GO or you are going to miss her.” Janelle pushed me out of the back office, which was luckily only feet from the window she would be pulling up to momentarily.
The evening crew didn’t know me as well as the opening shift, so the pimple-faced new kid gave me a look when I moved into his space, found her coffee, and waited until I saw the Jeep move into place.
As she came into view, I noticed she was in her uniform, but her hair was down. I had to suppress a growl. My eyes closed momentarily, then I took the one step needed to hand over the singular coffee.
My right hand reached through the window and handed her the coffee. She looked over and seemed to notice me. She smiled. A small but genuine smile. Same as always. There was no need for her to ask me for a tray for her singular coffee, so our interaction would be even shorter than usual.
“Hey. I’ve never seen you here this late.” She spoke. Her voice pierced me.
I had heard her ask for a tray and say thank-you a hundred, two hundred, more times than I could count. But this time, she was speaking to me directly. Intentionally. And it wasn’t her customer service voice. It was her.
More goosebumps than my flesh could handle, formed.
I stood there for an eternity like a deer in headlights then remembered I should reply. “I’m not usually still here.” Oh, super intelligent engaging response Olletta. Maybe you should change your name to Captain Obvious.
“Right.” Her head nodded just a touch as she spoke. “Well it was good to see you. Enjoy your evening.” And then she smiled again but this time it was bigger. Sweeter. Not close lipped. Toothy.
And then the Jeep drove away. Taking my eyes with it.
I was lost in the real smile she had given me when the pimple-faced boy, whose name tag read ‘Evan’, grumbled, letting me know he didn’t much appreciate me in his way. For a moment I was tempted to remind him I was the assistant manager and went where I wanted, but I refrained. I doubted he had much regard for the title. I didn’t blame him. Assistant manager at a fast-food restaurant at thirty years old didn’t exactly garner me instant respect. I really needed to get out of food service.
Without the education to do so, I felt stuck.
“Ollie.” Janelle’s voice further broke me away from replaying that smile over and over again in my head.
“Seth is here.”
“Wicked.” I could finally leave.
In the office, I grabbed my jacket and keys, gave Seth the low-down on the shift and bolted out the back door to my car. I looked at it. It wasn’t black, and it certainly wasn’t a Jeep. Between rust spots you could just barely make out the white paint that used to adorn it fully. I had never known it when it didn’t have rust spots.
The driver’s side door creaked loudly as I pulled it open. There was a can of WD-40 in the backseat somewhere for that. Glancing back there, I didn’t spy it, so I climbed in the zebra print covered seat, cringing as the door shut with another loud squeal. It was always my aim to not slam it too hard. Every bump in the road threatened to dislodge the rust that was carefully being held together by well-placed sections of tape and Bondo my brother kept applying in hopes of getting a little more time out of her. I needed another few months of saving before I could replace her. Slamming the door would just speed up the rust dispersal that took place naturally and leave more of my car on the roads, than on the chassis.
My drive across town was stressful. I had a mild case of ‘permanent road rage’ as my brother, Ben, would say. He hates riding anywhere with me and always has. Today, I left work so late it was rush-hour, and every other driver was pissing me off. ‘Fucker’, “Asshole” and “Stupid Fucks” were my labels for the idiots on the road tonight. By the time I turned into our driveway my face was red and I was ready to collapse from mental and physical exhaustion.
Ben and I shared a small two-bedroom garage apartment. It was nice enough and better than that, it was cheap enough. It also had the perk of being owned by our Aunt Rose. This meant that we often got good home cooked meals that neither of us had to cook.
Ben’s coupe was parked in the drive. My rust bucket pulled alongside it and I turned it off. Before I got out, I thanked her for giving me another day with her. Hopefully if she felt appreciated, she would hold together just a little longer for me.
Inside, my shoes came off then I let my straight shoulder length dirty blonde hair down. “Ben! You here?” My voice broke the silence in the apartment. No reply. This meant one of two things. He was out for a run or over at Aunt Rose’s fixing something.
Ben was almost handy. Not handy enough to be a ton of use, but enough that he held his own. He was strong and capable, so often he was used to move things Rose had decided needed to be moved. Or fix things she was too cheap to pay someone to fix.
By day he worked in a financial office and spent a good chunk of his down time running or at the gym to combat the effects of sitting all day. He was easy to live with, which was good since we had been doing it our entire lives.
Ben was seven years younger than me and had only been twelve when our parents died. We came to live here with Aunt Rose six months after their deaths, when me taking care of him alone was proving much harder than I expected. We were both too proud to move into her house, so the garage was renovated, and we had been here since.
Lately I had the nagging suspicion that Ben was thinking about spreading his wings and moving forward with his life past this address. He had the education and job to do so and mostly I was ready to wish him well but living alone in my Aunt’s garage at thirty was just another sign my life was not going as planned.
All the plans I had, were derailed the day my parents died. One year into college, I left to keep what was left of my family intact. There was no regret in that decision, just wistful wondering about what might have been. What could have been.
Since I didn’t know where Ben was and it ultimately didn’t matter in the moment, I made my way to my bedroom. There was only one shared bathroom in the apartment, so I gathered my stuff and padded down the hallway to it. It was time to wash this grease and grime from a thirteen hour shift off.
I stood in there just letting the water cascade down my body for the longest time before I started to clean myself. The hot water was doing its job. Gone was the distinct fryolator smell that clung to my uniform and skin. It also worked my achy sore muscles from bringing in the truck today. Seth and his ‘vet’ emergency meant I had to open as always and bring in the truck. Then stay late. The only upside to that was getting to see her again.
The downside was the realization that Janelle knew I had a thing for a customer. Had I been that obvious? Did the rest of the crew know? Those were details that did matter. I needed to work on being less apparent.
My eyes closed. My mind wandered back to Jeep girl on its own, which was not new. Instead of her office though, she was in my shower with me. Her hands on my skin. The hot water the only thing coming between our bodies. I stayed in that daydream long enough to make good use of the detachable shower head.
Shower done, I tossed the offending work clothes into the washer, along with the rest from my week, then went into the tiny kitchen. Still no sign of Ben. From the threshold to the kitchen you could see the whole apartment. My eyes surveyed the space. It hadn’t changed much since we moved in. Hand me down furniture, chipped mugs, and plates. Mismatched silverware and chairs. Memories of card and board games played at the table and fights over homework. This small space had housed both good and bad times. Mostly, it had allowed Ben to grow up safe and that’s what mattered.
My stomach growling loudly pulled me from remembering the days when things were harder but at the same time, easier than now. I slipped on my sneakers and traversed the small yard and walked into Aunt Rose’s kitchen without knocking, which smelled amazing.
Ben and Rose were chatting by the stove.
“Olletta, set the table if you are staying for dinner.” Aunt Rose didn’t look my way when she spoke. I shot her a dirty look but knew there was no point in telling her not to call me that, she always had and always would. Since the ‘Original Olletta’ had been her much loved grandmother she simply refused to call me Ollie. Telling me more than once it was a ridiculous nickname for a girl.
I went about getting out plates and bowls, silverware and drink glasses and placing them all on her dining room table on her placemats. They hadn’t changed since the day Ben and I moved here. She had two identical sets she rotated. Aunt Rose was fickle and a penny pincher. For as much crap as she gave me for driving a rust bucket, she wasn’t much better. Holding on to things for years after they were worn out or broken.
At least my car and mismatched, worn down furniture was because of a lack of money, hers was just being cheap as fuck.
We sat down to eat together, something we had done hundreds of times before. My mind refused to stay at the table. It kept wandering back to the girl in the Jeep. It didn’t matter how hard I tried, it seemed impossible for me to stop thinking about her.
“Geez Oll, where are you right now?” Ben was staring at me with an annoyed look on his face.
I placed another bite of pot roast in my mouth. “I’m right here.”
“Physically maybe, but your mind is not here.” His dark hair fell in his eyes as he spoke.
Ben and I barely looked related. He was tall. Had jet black hair and blue eyes. I was short with hazel eyes and light hair. He was all mom, and I was all dad. “Is there something you need Ben?”
The look that washed over his and Aunt Rose’s faces told me everything. What followed was Ben telling me he was moving. Not just out of the small garage apartment, but out of town. He had applied for and gotten a job three hundred miles away.
He was leaving in two weeks.
A blackhole formed in my throat. I was silent the rest of the meal. Back in the apartment, Ben tried to talk to me about his pending move. No part of me was willing to talk about it right now. I had been prepared for him to tell me he was moving out, but not to leave me totally.
Three hundred miles had never seemed so far away in my life.
“Can I get an extra-large coffee, one cream and a large coffee, one cream please.”
Her voice filled my head via the headset I was wearing. It never failed to send tremors through my body.
As I did every single time she came through my drive thru, I waited for her to ask for a tray. That extra ‘thank-you’ with a smile, never failed to send pulses between my legs.
I watched wistfully as she drove her black Jeep across the shopping center and parked in front of her work. It was a few minutes’ walk. It would be so easy for me to walk over there and talk to her. Use some ruse of shopping in there to see her outside of her Jeep. To see if she ever actually saw me.
Instead, I stuck to the drive-thru views. The longing looks when the Jeep moved away from me.
“She got her hair cut eh?” Janelle was next to me in the crowded space. Her own hair was now bright pink.
She had and it looked so good. She looked so good. Always did.
I didn’t even acknowledge Janelle. I left the drive-thru and went back to the office and my work. I spent the remainder of the shift putting out fires and dealing with nonsense. The drudgery of working in this place was wearing me down like never before.
With Ben gone, I went home to an empty apartment every night. I refused dinner with Aunt Rose most of the time, preferring to just bide my time alone between work shifts.
“Ollie. You are going to the dinner tonight right?” Eve was standing in the doorway.
I groaned. “Yes.”
“Don’t act so excited.” She half-joked.
It was our quarterly dinner with all the management team. ‘Team building’ and ‘team bonding’ were phrases that were always thrown around when talking about these nights out. When I first became a manager, I learned that was code for ‘who can get the drunkest’. I didn’t mind having a drink or two, but these nights often went so far overboard it was cringeworthy. Usually at least one person couldn’t make eye contact with the rest of us for a week after because of their antics.
“Yes, I’m going.” Not going wasn’t really an option unless you were working the night shift, something I only ever did in an emergency.
“Wanna share an Uber?” I knew Eve had reservations about the safety of my vehicle and part of the offer was so I wouldn’t offer to drive us. I planned a few drinks tonight, so the Uber made the most sense anyways.
“Sure.” Eve only lived a block from me. We had done ride-share together before. It only took me three minutes to walk from my apartment to her house.
“Cool. Meet me at my place?”
If there was anyone at work I could consider a friend, it was Eve. I smiled, “okay.”
“See ya then.”
“Is that one new?” Eve was pointing to the hint of lilies that peaked out of the bottom of my skirt.
“Since the last time I wore a skirt, yes.” Skirts weren’t usually my go to attire, but tonight I wanted to feel…well I wasn’t sure exactly. I just had the inclination to dress ‘up’ and did. The tattoo itself was almost a year old.
“Can I see it all?”
We were standing in front of her place waiting for the Uber. “Um, yeah.” I lifted that side of my skirt, exposing all three lilies.
Her eyes lingered on the words, but she didn’t question their meaning.
Her phone went off, our car was here. The ride to the restaurant was quiet, our driver was polite but didn’t engage. We found the rest of our crew quickly at the bar waiting for our table. It wasn’t long before the liquor was flowing.
“Geez Ollie, you should wear skirts more often. Damn girl.” Scott, the store manager, said.
I rolled my eyes at him. Scott was well aware he was far from my type. I brushed off his comment, choosing not to tell him off.
“Shit, Ollie.” Eve elbowed me.
“Ow! What?” I snapped at her, rubbing my arm where her elbow had made contact.
She leaned in so only I could hear her. “Your girl that drives the Jeep is across the room.”
My mind immediately jumped on the fact that Eve knew about the girl in the Jeep. Did everyone here know? Fuck. Then my eyes searched where Eve nodded towards.
There she was. The only girl in a gaggle of men at a table. She wasn’t in her uniform. Sleeveless white shirt with black accents. Hair down. And she was laughing. Her eyes bright. My own refused to pull away from her.
It was just then that our table was ready. I hung back to see where the hostess was guiding our group. I was compelled to sit so I could still steal glances over at her table. Luckily, it worked out where that was an option.
I ended up next to Eve, who whispered in my ear. “She looks almost as good as you do in real clothes.”
More drinks, and then food, were ordered. My focus was not on the table I was at, instead it was across the restaurant. A fact that didn’t go unnoticed.
Scott put me on the spot and the next thirty minutes were spent being forced to pay attention to the people I was at dinner with. Every once in a while, I managed to get another glimpse of her, but that was it. I was three drinks in, glad I had the next day off, when I saw her get up and head towards the ladies’ room.
Suddenly, the need to go myself hit me.
I let her get past my table before I excused myself. Eve eyed me as I got up. Somewhere between standing up and getting to the bathroom my mind was totally lost. My eyes closed. I was lost in what could happen.
The bathroom door would open, and I would see her. Throw caution to the wind. Click the door locked, so no one else could get in. Approach her wordlessly, giving her a look that told her everything. Told her how much I wanted my tongue in her mouth. Her arms would go around me, lift me on the vanity as we kissed. My fingers would find her breasts with ease. Thumbs would caress her nipples, feel them get hard under my touch and smile to myself.
My mouth would suck on the skin right below her ear as she reached under my skirt. The one I would be so happy I decided to wear tonight. Pushing my panties to the side, her fingers would slowly start to trace the contours of my silky center.
Knowing that at any moment someone could approach the thin door separating us from the world, she wouldn’t take her time with me. With the power I knew without any doubts she had, her fingers would delve deep inside me. I would moan low as they did. The force of her thrusts would be matched by my own need and soon she would pull and tease an explosive orgasm from my very core.
As she pulled out of me, I would be hit with an overwhelming need to taste myself on her fingers and grab her wrist. Guide her fingers into my mouth. Seductively suck while her eyes locked on mine. One deep kiss and I would then lower myself off the vanity, fixing my skirt as I did. She would wash up, unlock the door and leave. Not a single word would be exchanged between us. I would go back to my table with a quiet knowing smile, Eve would look at me and wonder. No doubt seeing the remnants of my orgasm in the look on my face.
My eyes opened. “Sorry.” I looked up and realized I was out of my fantasy world and inside the bathroom, just standing there. She was next to me, washing her hands. I was frozen to the ground. Had I even used the toilet? Or had I been standing here like a fool all this time?
She looked at me before she exited. I knew instantly she didn’t even recognize me. Had no idea I was the person who had handed over her coffee nearly every day for two years. Her words to me months ago had given me the impression she was aware of me.
My chest filled with dread.
My shoulders slumped.
I shuffled back to our table. My desire to be here was gone. What had been a wonderful fantasy was shattered with the realization I had never made any impression on Jeep girl. None.
My mood was sour and only got worse as time moved on. Eve made comments to me more than once. “Eve, if you aren’t ready to leave, I’m going to get my own uber.”
“What got into you Ollie?”
“Nothing. I am just tired. Tomorrow is my one day off this week and I don’t want to be hungover for it.” My voice was sharp. Without reason. Eve hadn’t done anything to deserve me being this way, but I was helpless to stop it.
“Okay let’s just pay our bills and I’ll get an uber.”
My night had been filled with dreams of the girl in the Jeep. None of them good.
In all the time I had been watching her. Fantasizing about her. Craving the feel of her skin and tongue, I had never once thought she had never ‘seen’ me. I had been at that store for two years. She came through the drive-thru my very first day there. I had noticed her immediately and every time since.
My soul felt crushed and the silence of my apartment was adding to that crushing feeling. Robe and slippers on, I walked across the drive. I eyeballed my rust bucket of a car. With Ben gone, the rust was showing more and my ability to save was greatly reduced without his help with the bills.
I sighed and knocked, then entered my Aunt’s kitchen. The smell of coffee hit me immediately.
“Well, well, well. Hello there, stranger.” Aunt Rose didn’t bother to look up from her newspaper as she spoke.
I mumbled at her then poured myself a cup of coffee. Sitting down, I reached for a discarded section of the paper. We sat in silence, reading, and drinking coffee.
“Olletta, you need to find yourself something. Maybe someone. But the moping around needs to stop. Ben has been gone for months now.”
“I don’t need your life advice.”
“Maybe you do. You’re thirty years old.”
“Nope. Do not start this.” I put the section of paper I was reading down with more force than required. This was why I hadn’t spent much time with her over the last few months. She always made her way to harping on my age. My job. Still living here and not having a girlfriend. Since Ben left, her need to point out every way I wasn’t living up to my potential had grown exponentially. It was draining me.
“I just worry about you.”
It was during these lectures from her that I often wanted to point out that she didn’t exactly have the most robust of lives. She lived alone, with a garage tenant. While she did have a great job as an engineer with a software company, she didn’t exactly have much of a social life either.
I didn’t though. I held my tongue. The pot calling the kettle black was not likely the best defense.
“You don’t need to. I’m fine. Can we please just eat in peace?”
“Oh, are you cooking?” She looked up from her section of the paper.
I huffed. “Sure.” I got up and made eggs, bacon, and pancakes. Forgetting for a moment I was cooking for two not three. Aunt Rose didn’t say anything about the surplus of food. We both missed Ben.
“Doing anything with your day off?” She asked between bites.
I hadn’t planned on anything. “No.”
“Wanna go to the park? It’s a beautiful day and it’s rare we both have a day off at the same time.”
My initial reaction was to say no. While I loved my Aunt, spending the day at the park doing what, likely nothing, wasn’t my idea of a great day off. With Ben gone I had been spending my days off at home, on the couch with Netflix. My mind and fingers often wandering with thoughts of Jeep girl. But, after last night, she was the last person I wanted to spend my day with.
“Great. Go get ready. I’ll pack some food.”
‘Supernatural’ was playing on the TV in front of me. My head was on her thigh. My body between her outstretched legs. I loved the way it felt to be totally surrounded by her. We took up nearly all of the couch.
My fingers were drawing slow, small circles on the outside of her leg as I laid there. Her fingers were running through my hair. My circles became larger as her fingers began leaving my head and caressing my neck with each pass.
Larger circles led to her hand moving down my neck further and further until landing on my breast. She was making her own circles now. My nipples reacting to the point of aching.
We seemed to be locked in a duel. How long could we both make circles before one of us gave in and made a move for more?
Her circles stopped. My breathing followed. I knew what was coming next. Her index finger and thumb captured my hard bud and applied just enough pressure. Shocks ignited between my legs. My stomach tensed. I waited. Knowing she would do it again if I didn’t react fully. She didn’t disappoint me.
She never did.
It was then that I rolled over. Buried my face in her. Inhaled her scent and warmth. My hand slipped under her tank top, deftly migrating north. Hers was migrating south. Fingertips skimmed the top of my sweats, slipped between the fabric and my skin and I moaned.
My own had reached their target. Played with her soft warm skin, teased her nipples, got them ready. I shifted and pulled her tank top up, exposing her glorious breasts fully. Soft kisses planted on her skin. She leaned her face down and captured my lip, tugged, then thrust her tongue in.
A new duel was taking place. Which one of us would break this contact first. Which need was greater?
My lips had been aching to have her nipple beneath them since I woke this morning. My mouth yearned to feel her breast fill it. I knew she wanted exactly that. Needed it as much as I needed her fingers to stop teasing my folds and fuck me.
This was an impasse we had reached before. No matter who relented first, we both won. Yet, we both still held out. Was it simply the challenge that excited us each?
Her finger placed a glancing blow on my clit and the decision was made in an instant. The kiss ended. I nuzzled into her more, wrapped my lips around her breast. Sucked her nipple in. My tongue playing. A split second later her fingers plunged into me. I nearly broke the suction when my back arched, and a moan begged to escape. My left hand moved to hold on to my prize as I continued to suckle her.
Her hand and my mouth kept pace with each other. I was close. So close to the edge. I nipped her, she thrusted harder. My left hand moved to tweak her other nipple. This was the straw that set her off, to finish me off.
My mouth slipped off its target as my legs began to tremble. The burning in my toes moved up, colliding with the flames in my core. Hips bucked under her swift and skilled fingers. It was as if my body was being split in two. My head was off her lap as my back arched in an otherworldly way.
I came crashing back down on her legs a lifetime later. Panting and spent. Her fingers went to her mouth then shifted to move my sweat drenched hair off my face. My eyes refused to open fully as I lay there in a hazy bliss.
Why was she calling me that? The sound reached my ears, but her mouth hadn’t moved. At least I didn’t think so.
“Olletta.” I sat up to look at her and like a mirage, she slowly faded away and instead of Jeep girl, Aunt Rose was staring back at me.
Fuck. I had fallen asleep at the park. It was all just a dream. Double fuck. “What?”
“Pleasant dreams?” Aunt Rose was grinning like the Cheshire Cat at me.
Instead of answering her, I stood up and stretched. Looked around the vast green space. Anything to force the traces of my dream away, and not make eye contact with my aunt.
The park had been quiet when we arrived, but now the open grass was filled with families and kite fliers. Kids running and men playing football. The noise of humanity had a way of both calming me and setting me on edge at the same time.
“We should head home.” I looked back at my Aunt, grateful when she agreed.
My mind raced on the ride home. That dream had been so real. How had this girl who didn’t even seem to know I existed gotten so deep under my skin?
After the night before, I had been determined to rid myself of the fantasies that so often played out in my awake hours. Her infiltrating my sleep so vividly was a whole new ballgame. One I wasn’t sure I wanted to be a player in.
“One extra- large coffee, one cream and one large coffee one cream. Please.”
It had been months since I raced to the window when I saw or heard her presence. I was often unable to avoid being there when she pulled through, but if I didn’t need to be, I wasn’t.
Had she noticed? I knew she hadn’t.
Today I was taking her order and handing over the tray I didn’t make her ask for anymore.
Somehow her voice still sent ripples I tried to ignore through me. My eyes still watched as the black Jeep drove away.
Both Janelle and Eve had made comments over the last few months about my lack of interest in Jeep girl. I brushed them and their comments off.
“See you at 6.” Eve said as I was grabbing my jacket to leave eight hours later.
“Ollie, seriously?” The look on her face told me I had again forgotten something.
“Shit. Right.” How was it possible it was already time for the quarterly management dinner? More importantly, how had it been three months since I had come face to face with Jeep girl in the restaurant bathroom and realized she had no idea I existed? “I’ll be at your place for 6 p.m.. Promise.”
Eve eyed me like she wasn’t sure if she should believe me. I reiterated that I would be there. Stressing the ‘on time’.
I rushed home to shower and get ready for the night. Aunt Rose had been sick, so I stopped in to check on her before making my way into my apartment.
“Well you look better.” She did if I squinted my eyes anyways.
She chuckled. “Well I still feel like I got hit by a garbage truck.”
“Need anything before I head out?”
“Out?” Her face lifted.
“Don’t get excited. It’s a work thing.”
“Oh.” She shifted on the couch. “How is it you work in one of the busiest fast-food places, yet you have not managed to use that to your advantage?”
I looked at her, “huh?”
“There has to be some girls coming through that raise your eyebrows.”
I swallowed. Oh, Aunt Rose, if only you knew. There was one that despite everything I had been doing to not think about her, she still visited me in my dreams almost every night. “I’m not at work to find a hook-up Aunt Rose.”
“Who said anything about a hook-up? You need to find yourself a nice girl and settle down.”
God, not this again. My desire to engage her in this was zero. I stood up. “Actually, I need to go shower the day off and get ready for my evening. So, do you need anything before I leave?” I took stock of the living-room. She had water and tissues. The remote and seemed to be set.
“I’m fine dear. I’m not that sick.”
I gave her a worried smile but accepted what she said. Promising to stop and see her when I got back later, I said my goodbyes. When I passed my car on the way back I made a mental note to get more Bondo for when Ben came home for Thanksgiving. I feared even that would be an exercise in futility.
Inside my place I showered and got dressed. No skirt this time.
I beat the Uber to Eve’s by a minute, which earned me a dirty look. “What? I’m here.”
She rolled her eyes at me.
Twenty minutes later we were standing at the bar with most of the management team. As always, our table wasn’t ready, and we were having a drink while we waited. An elbow to my ribs caused me to turn.
It was Eve. “She’s here again.” She pointed across the bar where Jeep girl was standing.
She was again the only girl in a group of men. This time she had a pink, black and white scoop necked shirt on. I had to close my eyes momentarily. Then, I turned to Eve and told her I had no interest any longer.
“Bullshit, your face is a red as my drink right now.”
“Stop.” My management voice came out of my mouth, letting her know I meant business. Or at least that was what I was telling myself.
We stood, waiting for our table and my eyes wandered across the bar more than once. Her hair was shorter than the last time I had seen it down. I already knew what it would feel like on my thighs, in my hands. My imagination had played it out so many times that I could feel it instantly.
Eve again. “What?”
“Girl. You just growled.”
Shit. I shook her off then shook myself out of the daydream that had already started. It was in that moment that I was certain Jeep girl was looking at me. Seeing me. Before I could be sure, Eve was tugging on my arm, telling me our table was ready.
Reluctantly I allowed her to guide me to where everyone else was already sitting. I ended up with my back to the dining-room, any chance of spotting her again gone. As we ate my head would turn, hoping to see where she was. Eve called me out on it more than once, repeating my own words back to me. I rolled my eyes at her. But I also questioned myself.
If I had no interest then exactly why did I keep hoping to spot her?
The look she gave me when she was across the bar was different. I only saw it for a split second, but I was certain it was one of recognition. Of more.
And now I needed to know for certain.
Like lightening looking for the ground, I got up and started walking towards the bathroom. My goal was just to see where she was. I spotted the table with her people at it, but she was not there.
Was my well-timed trip to the bathroom actually for a reason now? My feet kept moving. My stride lengthening.
One step more and I would be at the door. Gingerly I lifted one foot and put it down. The second joining it just at the wooden swinging door with the cheesy “Sheilas’ sign. My arm cut through the air, the weight of it almost too much for me.
Another step. Push and I was inside.
Unlike last time, she wasn’t at the sink. Did I stand here and wait? What level of awkward weird was I okay with? Before I could answer myself, she emerged from a stall and walked towards the sinks. I moved to wash my hands, trying to seem as if I had been in here and needed to be doing this.
Both faucets were running. She looked in the mirror, her head cocked to the side ever so slightly. “Hey. You work at Tim’s right?”
Her blue eyes were like beacons I couldn’t pull away from. I stared at them like a deer in headlights.
Answer her dumbass!
“Thought so. You look different out of your uniform.”
Was that a small smile on her yummy looking lips?
She reached for the paper towels that were next to me and my entire body reacted with the near contact. I couldn’t even manage a response.
She turned for the door. “Well, enjoy your night. See you in the drive-thru.”
The door shut with a thud and I was still standing there staring into the mirror. Staring at nothing.
I mumbled, “Motherfucker.” Under my breath. Had that just happened? Had I been face to face with her and completely incapable of…anything. She knew who I was. Or at least where I worked. I was suddenly flooded with so many responses that would have held her here longer. Maybe long enough for me to say something of meaning to her. “Shit!” I slammed my hand on the edge of the sink then collected myself and walked back to our table.
Eve looked at me. “Girl, are you okay?”
I mumbled something then ordered another drink. Our food would be here soon, and I just wanted to get lost in the evening and not dwell on what a chicken shit I actually was.
“To the left. The left Olletta. Geez.” Aunt Rose was snipping at me.
“For crying out loud Rose, why don’t you do this yourself if I’m not doing it right?” I took the string of holiday lights in my hand and dropped it. Ben always did the putting up of the lights and I was over listening to Rose bitch at me. Neither of us was in a good mood. Ben informed us at Thanksgiving that he would not be home for Christmas. He was going to try and come for New Year’s but that was only a maybe. The holidays seemed pointless.
“Fine, I will.” She huffed at me.
“Epic Olletta.” Aunt Rose’s voice trailed off as I walked across the yard and to my apartment. Inside it was chilly. I kept the apartment colder than what I was used to. Without Ben here, things like keeping the thermostat set lower, and cutting cable were now the norm. I made okay money, but I needed to save every penny I could because that rust bucket out in the drive didn’t have much more life left in her.
I sat down on the couch, turned the streaming box on, grateful yet again that Eve shared her Netflix and Hulu logins with me. ‘Supernatural’ was soon filling up the screen and I was lost in the brothers Winchester.
A weight was on my stomach. Hot air on my neck. If I didn’t move, this dream would continue as one version or another I had been having for the last two months. Her hands would glide from my stomach to between my thighs. She would fuck me hard and fast. Leave me breathless and glowing.
Jeep girl drove through my drive-thru by day, ordering her two coffees and then had her way with me every night in my dreams.
I saw her almost every time she came for coffee, but only if I was actually in the window did I hand over her order. She spoke sometimes, I spoke sometimes, but we never conversed. I had utterly blown it that night at the restaurant. It was almost as if I could sense that she thought I was daft.
I had more than proven that to her in the bathroom when she spoke to me and I was incapable of anything resembling an intelligent reply.
So, my punishment to myself was to keep my distance as much as possible. I had managed to expel her from my daydreams, but the nighttime fantasy version of her didn’t listen as well. Barely an evening went by where she didn’t visit my sleep. I was getting better about being able to wake myself up from these dreams. Sometimes anyways. It would be a lie to say I didn’t still crave her touch and the only way I could see to having it, was letting her do whatever she wished in my dreamworld.
Tonight, I stirred myself from my slumber on the couch. My eyes reluctantly opened, stomach reminded me I hadn’t eaten dinner. I stopped Netflix and went into the kitchen. A trip to the grocery store had been on my ‘To Do’ list for a bit, yet I hadn’t made it there. Sourcing food was easier when Ben was here. I knew I could eat at Aunt Rose’s, but after my refusal to help her with the lights, I didn’t feel that showing up would be a great idea.
I made eggs and toast. Easy and filling. My workday came early, so did bedtime. As I walked to my room I noticed white lights lit up along the fence in the front of Aunt Rose’s house. I grinned. We usually had a large display, but it seemed this basic approach was all the effort going into it this year.
It seemed rather appropriate.
“So, what, did you just give up on her?” Eve was eyeing me as we rode in yet another Uber. This time we were off to a New Year’s party.
She had asked me this question more than once over the last few months. I never had an answer for her. Had I given up? I wasn’t even sure. Jeep girl still invaded my sleep. Goosebumps still rose when I heard her voice.
“I’m over my juvenile crush.” I tried to fill my voice with conviction. She side-eyed me but said nothing.
Fifteen minutes later, we pulled up to Seth’s house. Inside the music was loud, the beer was flowing. I was already regretting the jeans because it was hot a hell in there. The sleeveless shirt I was wearing would offer some reprieve.
Eve and I stuck together at first. Aside from several of our co-workers, Seth had friends we didn’t know here. We people watched and chatted about his choice in friends. Eve pointed out a cute girl by the stereo she insisted was setting off her ‘gaydar’. I rolled my eyes and told her to stop trying to fix my love life.
The girl was cute, and possibly gay but…she just wasn’t doing anything for me.
Scott found us and handed us each a beer. “Hey ladies. Damn you both look fine tonight.” He eyed us both up and down. I smacked him and told him to stop being a creep. He put his hands up in surrender. I knew he didn’t mean anything by his comments, but I still felt obligated to remind him it wasn’t appropriate.
Seth and Janelle were soon standing with us, conversation and booze flowing around us. I felt myself loosen up and my hips slowly moving to the music in the distance.
“New ink Ollie?” Scott was noticing the Compass Rose on my right shoulder.
“A few months ago.”
Scott looked like he wanted to say more but before I could give him the chance to, I saw her. Across the room. Hair down. Black shirt with slits in the sleeves. I couldn’t tell from this distance what the teal and purple shapes on it were. Jeans. Hoop earrings.
What was she doing here?
Half of me wanted to stand there and stare at her for the rest of the evening. The other half wanted to bolt from the space and go home. All of me wanted to know why Jeep girl was here. In Seth’s house. At his New Year’s party.
“Ollie.” I took an elbow to the ribs from Eve. Again.
“God, will you stop doing that to me please!” I looked at her, annoyance all over my face.
I looked at Eve and played dumb. “Who’s here?”
“She’s not my girl.”
“Only because you haven’t told her you like her.”
I rolled my eyes at her again. “Stop Eve.”
“Well…you do. And you haven’t.”
I turned to her again and told her enough then walked away, putting as much space between myself, Eve and Jeep girl as possible. I spent the next bit of time mingling with people I knew and didn’t know, watching the time pass by. Any time I sensed she was in proximity, I moved to a new group of people.
“Ollie!” I heard my name and turned to figure out who and where it had come from. As I did, Seth, his boyfriend Pete and Jeep girl stepped into my view.
The last time I saw her without a drive-thru and Jeep between us was the last management dinner. The one where I was completely tongue tied. Dread filled me that I would again forget how to speak.
I averted my eyes from her and settled them on Seth and Pete. “Yeah?”
“You know Lynn right? She’s the store manager over at the Walgreens across from us. She just moved into the building.”
I felt my face get warm. I begged myself to speak and not sound like an idiot. Then I moved my eyes to her. She was smiling. My stomach flipped. Then flopped. Then flipped again.
“Hey.” I tried to act cool, even did a whole head nod as I spoke. Inside though, I was on fire because she was still smiling. That toothy wide smile I had first noticed months ago. She was even stretching out her hand to me. To shake. To touch. My stomach went queasy.
You’re an idiot Ollie. Just shake her hand.
I slowly met her hand with mine. If anything else was going on in the apartment, hell the world, I was unaware. All I knew was her skin was soft. And warm. And her handshake was firm and filled with power but also gentle. And I never wanted her to let go. But she did.
“Nice to finally know your name.” Was her reply.
And despite the fact that I had known her name for two years, I said the same thing back to her.
Seth laughed and said to her, “Yeah now you more than Coffee, extra-large one cream.”
My head flung around to him.
“That’s what I started calling you after you’re tenth time through the drive-thru in a month.”
My panties instantly soaked with the sound of it.
Around me, Seth and Lynn were talking about realizing they knew each other the day she moved into the building. My ears were filled with the sound of my own heartbeat and I was missing every third word.
“Ollie sees you more often though right?” Pete again.
“Yep. Almost every morning.” She turned to me, “and we’ve run into each other a couple times in the ladies’ room of The Outback Steakhouse. You guys seem to be on the same schedule for dinner meetings as we are at my work.”
My face went red again. A couple times.
So, the way she looked right through me that first time was not her not knowing who I was.
My mind was racing. The overwhelming urge to remove myself from this conversation washed over me. I heard their voices continue as I made an excuse, then walked away.
I walked towards the music coming from the living-room. I saw Janelle and her bright pink hair on the way. She handed me another beer, which I took greedily. I stood to the side, letting the music in. At least Seth and Pete had decent taste. People came and went, some saying hello as I stood engrossed in the lyrics pouring from the surround sound.
Midnight was fast approaching. Soon people would pair off for the standard kiss as the clock marked the changing year. The living-room was filling up as people started watching the television. Waiting for the ball to drop. I made my way from the edge of the room out on the small patio.
I was alone, leaning over the edge, breathing in the cool air. The speaker out here was drowning out the sounds of the mass of people inside. It wouldn’t be long now that I would hear them in unison begin the countdown. Seth and Pete had champagne for all, but out here, alone, letting the music overtake my body, was where I belonged.
Eyes closed. Hips swaying to lovelytheband’s ‘Broken’, I felt a presence behind me. My back was instantly warm. An arm reached around my waist, pulled me back. I knew whose arm it was. Whose body was swaying with mine to the music.
I had felt this a hundred times before.
It was the exact mix of soft and strong I had experienced so many times. My own arm reached back and wrapped around the back of her neck, pulling our bodies in even closer.
The song shuffled to ‘Unsteady’ by the X Ambassadors.
My hip swaying slowed with the new tempo. Her free hand trailed down the one of mine that was holding her tight. Her fingertips grazed my breast and I shuddered with desire. Her breathe was warm on my neck. Her lips soft against my skin.
In the distance, I heard the room counting down from ten. Nine. Her hand was trailing lower. Eight. The button of my jeans popped. Seven. The zipper lowered. Six. Fingertips on my skin. Five. They glide through my folds, already wet with need. Four. A strike to my clit. Three. A leg forcing mine apart more. Two. Fingers right at my entrance. One. Shouts of Happy New Year are heard just as her fingers enter me.
Then hear my name coming from the crowded room behind me. Fear floods me that we are about to get caught. Slowly, I open my eyes, the skyline focuses before me.
A chill runs across my back as I slowly turned towards the sound of my name being called.